Death Battle: Roshi vs Jiraiya
by Life Savior
Summary: Do you wish to learn from the best of the best and become the greatest warrior the world. Well these two are the best way to go. Just be warned. They kind of don't really care for privacy. If you have a match-up you want to see, please suggest it to me.


**Death Battle is owned by Screwattack. I do not own Dragon Ball or Naruto.**

 **Warning: Swearing, death, and, if you know anything about either of these two then you would expect this, pervertedness.**

 **Just like in Naruto vs Luffy, Jiraiya will not be allowed to use his summoning jutsu.**

 ***Crashes* I'm back, bitches! And if anyone gets that I'll give you cookies.**

 **Suggested by thebestoftherest.**

* * *

 **Roshi vs Jiraiya**

Wiz: Martial arts masters. People of great skill and profound wisdom. They are respectful, wise leaders.

Boomstick: But doesn't mean they can't appreciate the lovely aspects of the fairer sex. Like Master Roshi, the Turtle Hermit,

Wiz: And Master Jiraiya, the Toad Sage.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick,

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

 **Roshi**

Wiz: Goku is undoubtedly one of the most powerful characters in Dragon Ball. He can destroy planets, rival gods-

Boomstick: But he still can't beat Superman*Cough*.

Wiz: But where did all of this skill come from, you may ask.

Boomstick: Why a short skirt chasing old man, of course.

 **Background**

 **Age: 348**

 **Height: 5'5"**

 **Weight: 97 lbs**

 **Blood type: O**

 **Mentor of many of the Z-Fighters**

 **Inventor of the Kamehameha**

Wiz: Over 300 years ago, Roshi was a teenager training under-

Boomstick: Ha! Good one, Wiz. I'm beginning to rub off on you.

Wiz: Boomstick, I was being serious. Roshi has lived for over 300 years.

Boomstick: Oh. Jesus Christ, he's gotta tell me his secret.

Wiz: I'm afraid you're not going to have much luck. The phoenix that gave him immortality died of food poisoning.

Boomstick: Oh, sure. Lay down the sarcasm on me.

Wiz: I'm...still being serious.

Boomstick:... What the fu-

Wiz: He was trained under the great Master Mutaito alongside his rival Shen. After years of training the planet was attacked by King Piccolo.

Boomstick: What, the green alien with the turban?

Wiz: No, that was his son.

Boomstick: Great parenting right there. 'I'll give you my name, which also happens to be a woodwind instrument.'

Wiz: Anyway, the three took their part in fighting off the invaders to protect the world.

Boomstick: But they got whooped.

Wiz: Seeing no other option Mutaito gave his life to trap King Piccolo in a rice cooker...Yes. He sacrificed his life to trap the tyrant who threatened the lives of everyone on the planet in an electric rice cooker. In honor of Mutaito, Roshi took it upon himself to teach his martial art to others, Kame-Sen'nin. This martial art focuses on weighted training. In other words, fighting while wearing weights. This is the very technique that Goku trained in to become such an incredible warrior and Krillin to become the Earth's strongest human.

Boomstick: And Yamcha into becoming...Yamcha. So it's not a perfect system, but whatever. Anyway, you'd think that a 5'5", 97 lbs old man wouldn't really last that long, or keep up in a fight. Haha. But piss him off too much, or just find a hot girl, and he uses the, what I like to call, Popeye Method.

Wiz: Roshi is exceptionally powerful and a fantastic teacher, but there is one issue. You see Roshi is...well-

Boomstick: The biggest pervert of an old man. He once motorboated Android 18! Now, I wouldn't mind taking a trip around the lake on that boat but if I tried it I feel like I would be stain on the wall.

Wiz: Despite his... lewd nature Roshi is still an exceptional warrior. He was in fact the creator of the famed Kamehameha.

Boomstick: His Kamehameha is strong enough to destroy an entire castle and the mountain it was built on by complete accident.

 _"I'm pooped."_

 _"M-master...Look, the fire. It's out, but you kinda..."_

 _"Spit it out!"_

 _"Well the mountain and my castle..."_

 _"Oops. Sorry about that."_

 **Techniques**

 **Basic ki blast**

 **Ki Sense**

 **Kamehameha**

 **Hynosis Technique**

 **Telepathy**

 **After image**

 **Kiai**

 **Thunder Shock Surprise**

Boomstick: He can move fast enough to leave an illusion of himself, hypnotize his opponents, and even shoot lightning out of his fingers. Good, Master Roshi. Let the hate flow through you.

Wiz: He can also fire a wave of ki energy called Kiai and use a tracking technique called Ki Sense. Ki Sense allows Roshi to locate the exact position and movement of any living creature by tracking their ki energy. And while Roshi cannot use his ki to fly, for whatever reason, he can still increase his strength using a technique similar to the one Trunks discovered in the Cell Saga.

Boomstick: When he's getting serious he takes on a more muscular form, increasing his speed, strength, and ki power. While in this form he was capable of taking out all of the soon to be Z Fighters at the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament. But then when things get absolutely crazy he gets ginormous.(Look up a picture)

Wiz: At full power Roshi gains a massive increase in strength, ki-

Boomstick: And muscles. Jesus Christ, look at him. He's like a mountain of muscles. A very old mountain. Where the hell does he keep it all?

Wiz: However this form does lower his speed and stamina so Roshi will only use it when absolutely necessary.

Boomstick: Or until someone forces him for the entertainment of others. You know which one it's going to be.

Wiz: Despite this Roshi can still hold on for quite a while in this form, even when battling an army.

 **Feats**

 **Destroyed a castle...and the mountain it was built on**

 **Caught every bullet fired at him from a machine gun**

 **Blocked a Kamehameha with his bare hands**

 **Defeated almost all of the Z Warriors in the 21st World Martial Arts Tournament**

 **Annihilated a fleet of warships**

 **Destroyed the moon with a Kamehameha**

Boomstick: But Roshi's still no slouch in his base form, even though he could stand a few sandwiches. While at base form he can take out a squad of trained soldiers and is fast enough to catch bullets. He has destroyed an entire fleet of warships in just one shot, survived a fight with a Great Ape, and can take a beating from King Piccolo. He even once completely destroyed the moon with a full-power Kamehameha in order to turn Goku back to normal, instead of just shooting off his tail. Because, reasons.

Wiz: However, over the course of their training the Z Warriors and their opponents have completely overshadowed Roshi, making him more so a liability than a help. Roshi fights very rarely and his ki reserve is far less than most other Dragon Ball characters. He can only get in a few Dragon Ball standard ki attacks before he runs dry.

Boomstick: (Begins to speak)

Wiz: Don't.

Boomstick: Fine. Even his obsession with young women is a bit unhealthy, and that's coming from me. But when a fight comes his way be ready for the most vicious, muscular, perverted old man you've ever seen in your life. What a great man we have witnessed.

 **Jiraiya**

Wiz: Trained by the Third Hokage, Team Hiruzen consisted of the soon to be Legendary Three Ninja, Orochimaru the snake ninja, Tsunade the Fifth Hokage,

Boomstick: Then there's the greatest ninja of all time, in my personal opinion anyway, Jiraiya the Toad Sage.

 **Background**

 **Roughly Translated, his name means "I came"...Let that soak in.**

 **Birthdate: Nov. 11**

 **Height: 6'2" l 191.2 cm**

 **Weight: 193 lbs l 87.5 kg**

 **Blood Type: B**

 **Technically Naruto's Godfather**

Wiz: After graduating from the ninja academy, Jiraiya and the other Legendary Ninja were assigned to Hiruzen. During there training with him there team almost perfectly matched Team Kakashi.

Boomstick: Yeah, we got the failure to become a success, the smart girl, and the jackass. Just like Gai's team... Wait a second.

Wiz: Years later, Jiraiya would learn from a prophecy of a darkness that would destroy the world.

Boomstick: Like that doesn't happen every week.

Wiz: At some point during his training Jiraiya found Mount Myōboku, the home of intelligent toads who are commonly used in summoning jutsus. While there Jiraiya met the Great Toad Sage, who predicted that Jiraiya would train a student that would play a major role in this prophecy. Whether his student succeeded in destroying this threat or aided it in destroying everything was entirely up to how Jiraiya trained them. After achieving the rank of Chūnin, Jiraiya trained his own team of ninja, one of which happened to be Minato, the Fourth Hokage and father of Naruto.

Boomstick: Don't get too excited kids. This wasn't the first time he screwed up with that.

Wiz: After mistaking the Child of Prophecy twice, yes twice, Jiraiya settled on working on his career as an author, until he eventually found Naruto training for the Chūnin Exams and after some... special negotiating, Jiraiya agreed to put Naruto under his wing.

Boomstick: And Jiraiya had quite a bit to teach him.

 **Chakra Techniques**

 **Rasengan**

 **Transparent Escape Technique**

 **Summoning Jutsu**

 **Toad Oil Bullet**

 **Hiding in a Toad**

 **Barrier Techniques**

 **Earth Release: Swamp of the Underworld**

 **Wild Lion's Mane Technique**

 **Senjutsu**

Wiz: Much of Jiraiya's techniques are based on frogs due to his training from giant frogs, and not a lot of them are very pleasant. Like how he spits oil.

Boomstick: I'm pretty sure that's not healthy. But it's good for setting his foes ablaze.

Wiz: He can also trap people in a frogs oesophagus, hide in a frogs stomach to avoid detection, and-

Boomstick: Okay, please stop! That's enough of that.

Wiz: Aaaaand he can invisible.

Boomstick: Okay, that's better.

Wiz: Using his Transparent Escape Technique Jiraiya can turn completely invisible to the naked eye. He developed this technique in order to conduct his, quote, "research".

Boomstick: I think the word your looking for is whac-

Wiz: AND he can even use his abundance of chakra to control his hair and to make it stronger than steel wire in order to create defenses and for offense.

Boomstick: Does that work for only the hair on his hea-

Wiz: PLUS he can create barriers of chakra for even more defense or to detect those within his immediate vicinity.

Boomstick: Well at least he was wearing protectio-

Wiz: Can you not take a hint!?

Boomstick: Can you not interrupt me!? Jiraiya is strong enough to lift and throw giant boulders and kick away giant monsters.

Wiz: And if he ever needs a bit more strength he also has the ability to use Senjutsu to enter Sage Mode, boosting all of his physical prowess. Granted Jiraiya has yet to master this form which is why he looks very toad-like.

Boomstick: And why he has an avocado for a nose.

Wiz: This form requires a lot of chakra in order to maintain, which only makes it more difficult for him in the middle of battle. But he can use this form in order to enhance his other techniques. Such as upgrading his Rasengan into a more powerful variation.

 **Feats**

 **Survived a fight with Hanzō, alongside Orochimaru and Tsunade**

 **Can kick a Giant Multi-Headed Dog through the air**

 **Offered role of Hokage three times**

 **Survived against Naruto in his Nine-Tails' version 2 form**

 **Invented Transparent Escape Technique**

Wiz: During the Second Shinobi War,Jiraiya, alongside his former partners, fought a powerful ninja called Hanzō. Surviving this encounter earned them the title of Sanin. He is so skilled that he was even offered the role of Hokage three times, and would have been offered a fourth had he lived long enough.

Boomstick: Oh yeah. He died in battle by the way. Which means that he's not unbeatable.

Wiz: Jiraiya likely spent less time training in order to focus on his career. Also, despite his talent as a ninja, he has no experience in genjutsu.

Boomstick: Still, Jiraiya has proven time and time again to be one of the greatest ninja in the land and very few things can get in his way.

 **Death Battle**

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

 **Death Battle**

In the Hidden Leaf Village at a sauna, because where else would this be, Jiraiya is looking through the window at what exactly what would expect. As he stared at all of the beautiful women his nose began bleeding, which he quickly wiped away(Getting pretty uncomfortable). He continued to jot down on his notepad for his "research" while giggling without a care in the world. Two women caught his eye however. While he couldn't hear what they were talking about he catch one of them laying her hands on her-you know what screw it. Cue Roshi!

Woman:(Scream) There's an old man staring at me!

Jiraiya very quietly freak out, but found that they were talking about Roshi, who they kicked out and quickly fled the scene. Roshi was wearing his weighted turtle shell, which he landed on. Jiraiya very slowly turned his head towards Roshi, who was having some trouble getting back on his feet with the turtle shell he was wearing. Jiraiya stands up and points his finger very dramatically at him.

Jiraiya: YOU!

Roshi had his attention as he managed to stand up.

Jiraiya: You ruined my research!

Roshi: What?

Jiraiya: I was doing research for my latest book! And you just ruined it!

Roshi: Your research was peeping?

The word peeping repeats in Jiraiyas head runs towards Roshi with his fist raised while screaming.

Roshi: _Oh crap!_

 **Fight!**

Jiraiya punches Roshi in the chest and, as he's staggering, kicks him, sending him flying. Roshi falls on his back again.

Roshi: Not again.

Jiraiya jumps in the air and tries to punch him, but Roshi quickly rolls over and gets back up, letting Jiraiya punch the ground. Roshi takes his weighted turtle shell off and throws it away, accidentally breaking down the wall of a building. Roshi clasps his hands together and bashes them into Jiraiya's stomach while he's still hunched over, sending him flying. Jiraiya crashes into a building, but doesn't stay down for long. Jiraiya pushes all of the rubble out of the way and begins making several hand signs while screaming, while Roshi stands there. Still going. Still standing. Roshi raises his hands up which distracts Jiraiya for just a second and he blasts a beam of ki at him, crashing him into the wall across the room he crashed into.

Roshi: Ya know in this case, I'd say that quicker is probably better. Haha!

Jiraiya gets back up, runs toward Roshi and tries to punch him, who has already jumped into the air. As he's falling back down Roshi punches Jiraiya in the head and forces his head into the ground. With his hand still on Jiraiya's head, Jiraiya's hair begins to wrap around Roshi's arm, trapping him.

Roshi: I've seen enough hentai to know where this going. Haha-

His hair begins to engulf his face.

Roshi: Alright, alright! I can take hint.

Roshi sends a out a wave of ki, causing Jiraiya to roll away. Roshi begins coughing and pulls a hair out of his mouth. As Jiraiya gets back on his feet he begins to charge his Rasengan.

Roshi: _He really can't learn his lesson, can he. Just look at him. Charging up his attack, thinking he has all the time in the world. Not like me or my students at all. We're very conscientious about that. I'll just blast him again and-_

Roshi's thought is interrupted by Jiraiya screaming while charging at him with a ball of chakra in his hand.

Roshi: _Oh crap!_

Jiraiya: Rasengan!

Roshi becomes more muscular, raising his power and catches the Rasengan with his hand. Before Jiraiya can react Roshi fires a ki blast through the hand he grabbed the Rasengan with, destroying the ball and damaging Jiraiya's arm. Roshi begins punching Jiraiya repeatedly, but Jiraiya ducks and uses his Transparent Escape Technique. Before he can do anything, Roshi elbows Jiraiya, who is now behind him, in the stomach and punches him in the face, sending him crashing into another building. Roshi believes he's won, but all of the debris burying Jiraiya is sent flying as he enters Sage Mode. Roshi stares.

Roshi: You, uh... You've got something right...

Roshi gestures to his nose. Jiraiya jumps to Roshi and kicks him in the face sending him flying. Jiraiya runs all the way around into the path Roshi is flying towards and as he approaches him, punches him the back, throwing him in the opposite direction. Roshi struggles to get back up, but once he does Roshi's muscles expand even more until he's at full power. Jiraiya stares at Roshi's extremely muscular form, then goes cross-eyed to see his nose. Roshi charges at Jiraiya and grabs his face as he continues to run. They run into several buildings with Roshi holding Jiraiya in front of him. Jiraiya manages to stop Roshi by kicking Roshi in the chest with both legs, causing him to let go of his face. Jiraiya grabs Roshi with his hair by his ankles and spews oil at him, and before Roshi can make an innuendo out of it Jiraiya uses a fire jutsu to ignite the oil. Jiraiya's hair let go of Roshi before he ignited the oil. But in the fire Roshi blasts Jiraiya with a beam of ki. Roshi walks out of the flames while keeping the beam going, blasting Jiraiya farther and farther away. Jiraiya manages to put his feet back on the ground, trying to stop himself. Unable to, he jumps into the air to escape the beam. Once he lands, Jiraiya extends his hair and sends it after Roshi as it begins to show a mouth. The hair tries to bite Roshi(I can't believe I managed to say that in my life), but Roshi side steps out of the way and grabs the hair.

Roshi: I don't know if you're really into this, but here goes!

Roshi pulls on the hair to bring Jiraiya to him. Using one hand to pull the hair Roshi uses the other to blast balls of ki at Jiraiya as he flies towards him. Jiraiya creates a shield of chakra around him to protect him from the blasts. With each blast the shield cracks more and more. Once Jiraiya got to Roshi, he broke through the shield and grabbed the ninja. Slamming him into the ground, Roshi begins to run while dragging Jiraiya through the ground and chucks him upward, breaking through a building and keeps flying through the air. Roshi puts his hands together and pulls them back to his side.

Roshi: Kame...

Light begins to form in his hands.

Roshi: Hame...

A ball of ki is formed.

Roshi: HAAAAAAAA!

Roshi fires at Jiraiya, who wraps himself in his extending hair to protect from the blast. The blast hits but Jiraiya's hair does little to stop it, as it begins to disintegrate, leaving Jiraiya bald... for about .5 seconds as he is disintegrated as well.

 **K.O.!**

Roshi sits in a spring with two beautiful women while a copy of the Gutsy Ninja burns in a pile of rubble.

Boomstick: Greatest. Old man fight. Ever.

Wiz: Jiraiya and Roshi were pretty even in terms of strength and while Jiraiya held the stealth advantage that didn't really mean much to Roshi.

Boomstick: Roshi's hundreds of years of combat experience trumped Jiraiya and it also doesn't help that Roshi held a significant speed advantage. He can also take quite a beating from heavyweights like King Piccolo and from an army. Plus with Roshi's ki sense he would have been able to tell where Jiraiya was at any given moment, even if he uses his Transparent Escape Technique, making his stealth advantage pointless.

Wiz: Also, Jiraiya has not mastered his Sage Mode, meaning that he required a considerable amount of chakra in order to maintain it.

Boomstick: And all things considered he's probably not to going master it anytime soon.

Wiz: And of course Roshi's ki is absurdly more powerful than Jiraiya's chakra. Recall that time Roshi destroyed the moon with a full-power kamehameha. This means that Roshi's blast was backed up by at least 29.8 trillion megatons of force. Jiraiya stood very little chance against a blow like that.

Boomstick: It was a good fight, but in the end Jiraiya lost by a hair.

Wiz: The winner is Master Roshi.

* * *

 **Next Time**

 **The smiling girl sits in the light, oblivious the coming danger. Above her the silver haired man falls from the sky, sword in both hands. As he lands the "son" of Jenova takes away the life of the sweet young girl.**

 **Sorry. Did I open up an old wound?**


End file.
